Mennonite Central Committee

Tuka Regmi

(as told to Tim Shenk)
From the Fall 2009 issue of “A Common Place”

For nine years, I never told anybody that I was HIV-positive. I contracted HIV from my husband, who worked as a driver in India. When he was very, very sick, a lot of people knew why he was not well, and they looked badly on us. I was really loving with my husband but other people expressed hatred, even within my family.

I had great trouble when my husband died because I had three children, ages 1, 5 and 8. I heard somewhere that someone who had HIV would die after nine years. I thought that when I died, my children would have a hard time living. They would have to work for others or be out on the street.

I thought that I would work and give opportunities to my children and then I would die. I raised goats and worked on my farm to earn money to send my children to school.

The community treated us badly because they thought HIV was contagious through casual contact. They had bad concepts about it. One woman never drank water from my house, and my children weren’t allowed to eat at my brother’s wedding. People hated us.

Three years ago, I became weaker, and a volunteer from Sakriya (an organization MCC supports) took me and my three children to a hospital to be tested for HIV. I was positive and my children were negative. I told my friends and my brother and my parents. My friends and family couldn’t believe that I was HIV-positive because I had lived nine years after my husband died.

Sakriya helped me form a support group for people with HIV. At first, we were just five women. Since then, we have grown to include 110 women, men and children from three districts. Many of us meet every month to share advice and receive counseling, such as on what kinds of food to eat. A health worker from Sakriya refers group members to the hospital, and about 35 members receive medication for AIDS. Sakriya has been great to us.

I am helping with Sakriya’s program to raise awareness about HIV. I speak about HIV to school groups, family members and people in parks and tea shops. Last year, for World AIDS Day, I spoke at an open meeting called by the local government. There were more than 1,000 people there.

I said, “Since nine or 10 years ago, I am HIV-positive. I am innocent but I got it from my husband. Other people are HIV-positive but they don’t say so. It’s better to be open about it.”

It was the first time I had spoken to a large group. I never had difficulty speaking, because I had courage to say what was in my heart. My friends who are HIV-negative were a little bit scared to learn what had happened to me. My friends who are HIV-positive were happy because I have been healthy so long.

Now that I tell people I have HIV, I feel like I have put down a heavy load. I’m continuing to speak about AIDS because I am concerned for my children and society. While I am living, I will do something about AIDS.

Tuka Regmi is the chair of Commitment Group Sankalpa Samuha, a support group for people with HIV in the Gulmi, Parbat and Syanja districts of Nepal. The group was formed by Sakriya Sewa Samaj, an MCC partner organization.